Heading to a New Year

As 2011 is reviewed, there are goals that were met and goals that weren't met. My goal to dispose of 365 things was realized, although disposing of things each month proved difficult after the wedding. This goal will be reattempted in 2012 although the number of items will be reduced to 15 items per month or a total of 185 items for the year.

The goal to make one item a week from the family cookbook fell by the wayside as I began to put on weight and stress about the wedding caused to me lose all self control. This goal has merit, and I would like to attempt to make one new thing a month.

Additionally, in 2012, I will bring together the two 2011 goals in a new short term goal. Today I inventoried my freezers and pantry, and during the month of January I am going to do as little grocery shopping as possible. Each week I plan to report how much was spent on groceries, and I will review any cooking/baking creations that are worthy of blog space. Creations that are new to us or that use ingredients in a unique way will most likely be reviewed.

After freezer/pantry inventory, a meal plan for the next 12 days was created. There is no reason a pantry challenge can't have some sweet fun, right. Years ago I found this great recipe called Multiple Choice Bars. These are a pantry cleaning treat. The bars have four layers and each layer is limited only by your imagination. The following items were found in the pantry: butterscotch chips, chocolate chips, coconut, pecans, coconut, Rice Krispies, and Golden Graham cereal. All of these items were open packages needing to be used up. My only purchase was Sweetened Condensed milk.

The Golden Grahams were crushed, mixed with butter, and made the crust. Sweetened condensed milk is poured on that layer, then the two types of chips were added, next a coconut and Rice Krispies mix, and lastly the pecans.

These bars not only look like seven layer bars, a recipe that used to be on the sweetened condensed milk can, but this version tastes like them too. They were a bit chewy, probably attributed to the dryness of the coconut, but since I tried them while they were still warm, the chewy coconut combined with the oozing chocolate proved to be a perfect combination. I will probably zap these bars in the microwave, just a touch, each time I eat them in order to get that same texture combination.

First pantry creation earns five stars.

The Taste of Fall

When I was in high school, one of the best things to find in my sack lunch was Mom's Apple Cake. Don't be mislead, this is not cake. It is more an apple pie bar, and nothing makes a baloney sandwich tolerable like the anticipation of eating the fruity wonder called apple cake.

Today's lack of Packer game broadcast caused me to venture into the kitchen for some fall baking.  I ran across a recipe, in a recent issue of Cook's Country magazine, called Chapel Squares. They are a combination of apple and dried cherry as filling, and it is enclosed in a pastry crust. I wondered if the addition of cherries would give this dessert a flavor even better than my mom's apple cake.

I prepared the pastry crust and prayed rolling it out between parchment paper would make working with it a breeze. This would not be the case. It became clear that my butter had not been incorporated enough, the dough was too wet, and again I would struggle to get the pastry into the pan. Would the final taste be so good that the pastry struggle was worth all the effort? Time would tell.

The dried cherries needed soaking, apples needed to sit in the sugar cinnamon, and pastry need to refrigerate. Time would tell.

After the final assembly was completed, I realized I had failed to put the almond paste on the bottom crust, thus eliminating a whole taste layer. If the final product were tasty enough, I pledged to try the recipe again and get all ingredients into the final product.

While the Chapel Squares, sans almond paste, was tasty, it in no way compares to my mom's apple cake.  The Chapel Squares were more pastry than filling, and that was disappointing. Admittedly, cherries add a fun flavor, as does the almond extract in the icing and this is a good dessert. It is probably even better with the almond paste layer. Made for any event I am sure it would be well received. However, after all the time and work, I decided I would rather stick with the recipe that holds such dear memories, has fabulous taste, and is much quicker to make. (The pastry is easier to handle too)

As soon as the new apple crop arrives, I will make my mom's apple cake and post a picture so you can see the difference. Click the link above to make one for yourself and enjoy the tasty goodness of fall.

Dancing Chicken

When you read cookbooks like a good fiction novel, you run across all sorts of strange things. Cooking a full chicken with a can of beer stuffed up its backside is one of the funniest things I have ever heard of, and I had to give this a try.

Last Monday, I played around with the dancing chicken. (That is what it looks like to me.) The preparation was simple. Rub seasoned salt and pepper on the outside of the whole chicken, drop 5-6 cloves of garlic into the can of beer (which had been half emptied) and perch the chicken on top of the beer can. The most difficult part of preparing this dish was finding a single can of beer to purchase. My normal grocery location doesn't sell singles, and a competing store only sold the beer silos. (20 ouncers) I was fearful my dancing chicken would be too tippy, but careful handling prevented any mishaps.

I removed the top rack of the grill, fired her up, and when it was properly warmed, placed my dancing chicken on the side opposite the flame. (Indirect heat) The work was done. Ninety minutes later we had a juicy chicken dinner.  Did the beer provide a special flavor? Nope, so I plan to try again with just Coca Cola. (a variation I have seen) Did the garlic provide a tasty flavor? Nope, so I plan to put more cloves in the can and a few under the chicken skin. Did the salt and pepper enhance the flavor? Not really, unless you eat the skin, which I tend not to do. I plan to rub the salt and pepper in the cavity of the chicken as well as on the skin.

You can see this was a recipe that earned the honor of being tweeked and tried again. It was fun and might be a good conversation starter if you prepared it for guests, however for flavor, I think our family is fully hooked on Julie's Chicken. The seasoning on the outside of the chicken is the same but produces a bit more flavor. Julie's Chicken is juicy and you don't need to own a grill to get that great taste.

Recent Baking & Cooking

If this blog were the measure of the baking & cooking going on at our house, one would think we are starving by now. This, of course, is not the case. My apologies for the long absence, and I hope to be back on a more regular basis.

I was most recently inspired to reconnect because of dear daughter's labors on Labor Day. She hooked a 21 pound chinook and, with a little help, reeled in that tasty fish. The following day we delighted in a BBQ salmon and crispy fried potato dinner.

Jason prepared the salmon. There was no fancy preparation, just salt and pepper. It was tender, flaky, and delicious. Don't be fooled; this is not like picking up a hunk of fish at the store and plopping it on the grill. Much time was spent properly gutting and cutting the fish, but the reward was well worth the time investment. Nothing like really fresh fish.

As the fish was being prepared a light bulb went on and I pulled out the Hayes Family Cookbook. My brother insisted mom's recipe for Crispy Fried Potatoes be in the cookbook. It isn't much of a recipe. You just need firm leftover potatoes, butter, salt, and pepper. There aren't even any measurements.

The crispy fried potatoes were a last minute addition. We had yellow potatoes that had been baked a few days earlier, and they hadn't attained the flaky center like a true baking potato. Leftovers were put in the fridge, and I assumed they would migrate toward the back, eventually ending up in the garbage.

My mandolin made nice thin, even slices of potato. I dropped two tablespoons of butter into a the frying pan and layered the potatoes on top, trying to get a single layer. The two medium size potatoes filled the fry pan and it was a bit over a single layer. Crispiness was the goal and a golden brown color was also desired. It took about 5 minutes. I went totally on color and crispiness. Since I am not adept at the mid-air flip, I struggled to use my largest spatula to turn the potatoes. Another 5 minutes or so and dinner was ready.

The combination of crispy potato and tender salmon was excellent. There was no need for complicated flavoring because these two staples, in their purest form, were delish.

June Disposals

The month of June arrived and the first half of the month was focused on the wedding of our dear daughter. Some time was spent organizing our garage to make temporary room for wedding gifts, but my objective of disposing of things and learning to live with less was set aside to simply clean and make room.

As I reach the half way point of this year of downsizing, I find that the change in thinking required to live with less is harder than I thought. My original feelings have waned a bit and I wonder if that first burst of energy was more about gaining control of something, anything, and less about a desire to live with less. I like shopping; I like buying; I like many of my things; ultimately I like control of things. When my life has so many things I can't control I search for something TO control. Back in January, that was control of my things and wanting a smaller pile of things to control.

Maybe I am realizing I can't control all that I thought I could, and I question my ability to control anything. Is this why every August I have the nightmare about the class I can't control? Or does that continue to just be a bad dream of nervousness about the upcoming school year? But I digress.

Am I so reluctant to let God control that He finds it necessary to take away ALL my control and only give back some control when I demonstrate that I will not be greedy? If that be the case, then I must push on toward my goal of eliminating one thing a day for the year 2011.

June brought the much needed cleaning of my walk-in closet, which had sadly ceased being true to its name "Walk-in". The following items have been culled in the last week.

1. Two vintage bowling shirts—gone!
2. Brown blazer (can't remember last time I wore it—pasado!
3. Gray light jacket emblazoned with Whitworth logo—abiit!
4. Crocheted doilies whose original eludes me—weg!
5. Brown pants thankfully still too large—borta!
6. Navy blue pants for the same reason as #5—ido!
7. Japanese hankerchief—odszedł
8. Blue corduroy blazer for same reason as #2—borte!
9. Five pair various socks—dingo!
10. Black sweater—pagājis!
11. Brown dress—andato! 
12. Black & red long sleeve dress shirt—imithe!
13. Two kids t-shirts meant as gifts and forgotten. Now too small.—farin!
14. Green and black dress—elmúlt!
15. Bag of fabric pieces—φύγει
16. Three hangers (I may have to re-evaluate the number I left in my closet. Way to many to control.)—ir! 

I know that only is only 23 things. Many things didn't get into the disposal pile because they went straight to the garbage, which is gone now. I choose to count that list as 30 items for June. Additionally, my total count as of today (368) is far beyond the 186 days of this year. And my last reason for calling that good is the upcycling I did with several pieces of fabric. I made two lunch boxes and two reversible aprons. I will also be upcycling an unfinished scrap quilt and making it a handy camping tablecloth/throw. Since I must finish that today so it is ready for our camping trip tomorrow, I shall close this post. 

BTW did you notice I turned this into a language lesson for you? The word "gone" in several languages thanks to Google translate. Teachers never go on vacation, just ask my grown children!

May Disposals

This list more accurately represents items discarded late May and early June. The list seems so short compared to the volume of stuff that has made its way to Goodwill in the past few weeks—a truckload FULL. Surely, much of that included disposals made earlier this year but stored in the garage. My greatest sense of accomplishment comes from the neatness of our garage as we head into summer. Notice I didn't say it was a clean garage. There is a lot of stuff in there, but it is much neater and as I stated on Facebook recently, the work bench remains the last area to tidy out there.

Today, in an effort to stay sane before the wedding, I cleaned kitchen cupboards. They are mostly done and I did a lot of consolidating. I was hoping to dispose of more, but I am satisfied with the cleanliness of the cupboards today. After the wedding, I plan to get serious about disposing of more stuff.

1. 3 throw rugs
2. Magic Ready Mop—although ready, not so magic and a handle that is far too short
3. 3 sheet sets
4. various bedding items like random pillow cases and such
5. 11 towels—which, to be honest, will likely end up in the camper, but these towels are out of the house and the current camping towels will become garage rags.
6. Bag of old shoes
7. Bag full of old papers that were long due for recycling
8. large handful of used drinking straws
9. Two pump dispensers
10. 1 bag chocolate Skittles
11. Combined many bags of bits of things and threw away another bunch of bits of OLD things from the pantry.
12. One random drink coaster
13. Storage container parts of various types
14. Pur water pitcher
15. Three quart casserole dish
16. Five water glasses
17. Soap dish
18. Three spray/squirt bottles

This is a total of over 40 items. I stopped counting cause some was just junk.

Easter Thoughts

Easter should be a celebration bigger than Christmas. It's Resurrection Day! If Jesus had not resurrected, he would not have overcome death, and we would still be dead in our sins. Jesus has made us white as snow so that we may spend eternity with God. That is reason for celebration!

Sitting in church we are surrounded by families gathered to celebrate the holiday. Our pastor speaks of the forever family and the feast to be enjoyed when we are all together in heaven with God. We, Tom and I, sit in church alone, and I don't feel much like celebrating. My thoughts wander to the family celebration that will occur tomorrow as my family in Wisconsin gathers at my sister's house to enjoy time together. There is always an egg hunt (rain, snow, or sun) for the nieces and nephews. There are many people and much fellowship as our family and some members of her husband's family gather on this special day. They all recognize the importance of this holiday and I believe it is because they are a Catholic family.

I grew up Catholic. We went to church every Sunday and all the other sacred holidays. We didn't eat meat on Fridays during lent, and we gave something up for those six weeks. When I was little, we couldn't wear pants to church, and our heads always had to be covered. The Catholic church recognizes that the church is a sacred place, God is holy, and we humans do well to remember our place; we are sinners and we need a Savior. There seemed to be so many rules.

It would be much later in my life that I would understand that these "rules" were really the churches way of helping us remember just how holy God is.  I would see these remembrances as rules that I did not want to follow. Today, I attend an independent community church. I love the worship, I love the teaching, I love so much about my church, but in an effort to draw the unsaved, have we lost what it means to understand that God is holy? It seems anything goes. People bring their coffee into church. Men do not remove their hats. It doesn't matter how you are dressed for church, it just matters that you are there. I wonder if we have become too casual about church; too casual about our relationship with God. So casual that we no longer understand the importance of the Easter holiday.

Today, we sit in church alone. I pray it will not always be this way. I pray that it will be a holiday of family, a future family filled with grandchildren. I look forward to the day of the forever family, where no one is missing. No one has other plans or something more enticing drawing them away. We will all be together and we will have forever to visit and be together. 

Until then, I must delight in the small celebrations. I must view the small celebrations as baby steps toward the big event. And I guess if I am really honest, baby steps are about all I can handle right now. Tomorrow, when I would really prefer a large family around the table, I shall rejoice in the small gathering of friends and family who have not lost sight of the meaning of the day. 

Week 16 Part II

Fudge Nut Brownie Cookie ☆☆☆☆☆ [pg. 126 HFC]
As the recipe title states, these cookies are more a brownie bite than a cookie. If you are a person who likes the edges of the brownies, then you will love these cookies.

The ingredient list is short making the mixing a snap. I love that there are both chocolate chips and walnuts in the recipe. I love these two ingredients in cookies. I added the extra flour to make a thicker cookie although I wasn't sure they were thick enough when the first two batches came out of the oven.

I used my smallest cookie scoop to keep the cookies uniform. Although the dough is quite sticky, the scoop  worked pretty well. I love a sturdy cookie scoop! (I have never cared for the double spoon method of scooping cookies.) I made the first three batches on my baking stone and was disappointed with how difficult they were to get off the stone. Baking stones are not greased before use and this hindered the removal of the cookies. The cookies wanted to smoosh a bit, making them more oval than round, and this was frustrating. On the last batch, I used my shiny aluminum cookie sheet and these cookies looked thicker and came off the cookie sheet much easier. I did grease this cookie sheet before baking, and the cookies sat for a few minutes rather than just one one minute. Both these conditions attributed to the easy removal from the pan.

I frosted all the cookies, as noted in the recipe, and determined that a person could easily use their favorite chocolate frosting recipe rather than the canned frosting. Assuming you keep a box of brownie mix on hand, these cookies could be a good last minute dessert. I am wondering if our favorite "scratch" brownie mix could be slightly altered so that these brownie cookies could be made entirely from scratch.

It was hard to put off the taste test until my dinner was consumed, but I was firm. I choose one cookie baked on the baking stone and one baked on the shiny pan. Both cookies were very good with just the right mix of chocolate and nut, however the cookie baked on the shiny pan was more uniformly baked and the edges were done just right. I have made a note in my cookbook that these cookies must be baked on the aluminum cookie sheet. After tasting the second cookie (the one baked on the aluminum pan), I give this recipe five stars. I love the chewy edges of brownies and these cookies have that same great texture. Others who live in this house, and are known to cut brownies right out of the middle of the pan, will not agree with my assessment, but it isn't their blog now is it!

Week 16 Part I

Dinner Rolls ☆☆☆☆☆[America's Test Kitchen Newsletter*]
Tomorrow we celebrate Lynsey and Jason's April birthdays. In honor of this special occasion, I decided to make homemade rolls following a recipe I found this morning. Unlike my mother's dinner roll recipe, this one does not contain eggs. My greatest regret, as I made these rolls, was that I do not have a Kitchen Aid mixer which could handle the dough kneading easily. My little Sunbeam was working very hard to mix the dough.

I like proofing the dough in a warm oven as it cuts the time down considerably. This small recipe only makes a dozen rolls forcing me to make two batches today in order to have enough for tomorrow's dinner. I plan to make dinner rolls for Easter as well, but I will use my mother's recipe. I will allow my bread machine to mix the dough, and after shaping the rolls, I will proof them the second time using the method in today's recipe. Hopefully, we can accurately compare the two recipes although there will be several days between the tastings.

My second batch today turned out much nicer than the first. I made note of the consistency of the dough on the second batch as it was much easier to shape into rolls. The first batch needed a couple tablespoons more flour so that it wasn't so sticky when shaping. The rolls of the second batch also look nicer (they are more even colored). My mother would be proud. The rolls feel light and soft and are very tasty, particularly with jam. :-) I doubt they will last long.

*You need to be a member of America's Test Kitchen to access their recipes. I shall honor their copyright and not retype the recipe for reposting here.

Week 15—Part I: There Was No Baking—Really, NO Baking

Nut Goodie Bars ☆☆☆☆ [pg 133 HFC]
Stress creates a desire for chocolate for me and my husband. The day of the cupcake fiasco, we had received news that a close family member had suffered a severe heart attack and was not doing well. There was a strong desire for chocolate at our house. After the trifle was gone, I desired some other type of chocolate. I checked my list of April recipes to try, and it included Nut Goodie Bars, which only used the microwave—SCORE! No baking in that recipe.

I did some measuring, a bit of melting and mixing, but no baking. It should be noted that someone had gotten into my stash of baking peanuts, so my nut goodie bars had peanuts and some sliver almonds. Then I had to wait for the bars to harden. The next day I had my first nut goodie bar. They are yummy and easy, as stated near the recipe name in our family cookbook. Peanuts are definitely the nut of choice for these bars, but the almonds worked well too. I wisely made 1/2 a batch and I am pretty sure I ate my half of the 1/2 a batch; more than enough.

Monday, we will celebrate a few birthdays at our house, so I will need to break the No Baking vow I had made to myself. It is very hard for me to Not Bake. Baking relieves stress, as does eating. It is a very dangerous combination. Moderation is the key and that seems to go out the window when I am under stress. It is a vicious cycle and I have to find a way out. My next efforts to control the stress will be focused on more walks with my puppy Zoey Lyn. She will be so happy!

Week 14—Part I: Win/Lose Non Baking Adventure

A bit over a week ago, dear daughter had a hankering for cupcakes. My husband's sister was coming for dinner so after my dinner came out of the oven, cupcakes were to go in. Sadly, the oven got turned off and it wasn't realized until the timer for the cupcakes went off. Bummer! Oven was started again and we attempted to bake the cupcakes. The second time the timer went off, we had baked cupcakes. They didn't look quite right and there was concern they wouldn't taste right. Dear daughter didn't even want to bother frosting them, and I hate throwing food away, so I decided to try a trifle.

Now, I must emphasize, I did NOT bake. I stuck to my pledge to abstain from baking sweets for two weeks. Dear daughter baked and I just mixed a few things together; some whipped cream and chocolate pudding to be exact. I tore the cupcakes into fourths and layered the cake and chocolate stuff in a nice trifle bowl. The recipe originally called for brownie pieces to be layered with the chocolate stuff and after tasting my trifle, I admit I like the original brownie trifle much better.

The problem was the texture, at least for me. Although I tried the brownie trifle over a year ago, I distinctly remember the delightful combination of chewy brownie and smooth chocolate "fluff." The cake and fluff didn't have enough difference in texture to create that same sensation in my mouth. It was boring.

So, the cupcakes didn't go to waste and I did some adventure "baking" (not a normal thing for me). That is the win side. I create something boring; that is the lose side, and I did not bake.

Time off from Baking Challenge

This morning I decided to take a week or two off from the baking challenge. I love to bake—this is going to be difficult and not just because of my love of baking. Sugar is addicting and there is no question I have lost all willpower when it comes to the wonderful things I am baking. My body needs a break to "detox" from some sugar. Back soon.

April Disposals

For April disposals I will tackle the hardest disposals of all—books. I love books, my husband loves books, and both our kids LOVE books. Powell's Bookstore is one of our favorite places to visit. When the kids were little, the library was a very regular visit; weekly in the summer. My kids always knew Mom was a sucker for books. If we were on vacation or visiting a tourist attraction, the kids knew I could probably be talked into a book souvenir. I have the largest book collection at our school, and it was with stiff-upper-lipped determination I approached our book shelves.

There are 91books in the disposal pile. Rather than listing each of the books in that pile, I am going to list some of the books we kept.

• All Randy Alcorn's books were kept. We love Randy and his writing. These books have been read more than once and will probably be read again, however, if that has not happened when it comes time to move from this house, they will be passed on to others.
• My most loved book by Mac Lucado and one by Charles Swindoll were kept, however only one from each author. These men greatly influenced my early Christian years. I had to keep one from each. I have vowed to read these two books again this summer.
• The books we have received or purchased to assist with marriage mentoring were kept.
• We still have all the Bibles the kids had through their growing up years. I kept those, to maybe pass down to grandchildren one day.
• My "Quilt in a Day" books were kept, as I have hopes of quilting again in the future, and maybe Lynsey will want to borrow these one day.
• Several general craft books were kept for the same reason I kept the quilting books.
• We own quite a few books related to genealogy; historical books about my hometown and such. These serve a purpose far different from a pleasure book and they need to be kept.
• We have a strange and assorted collection of vintage books. Some came from Tom's grandparents and some are books I have purchased—specifically the 1950' Dick and Jane readers. 

That is the essence of what I kept. As I read Dave Bruno's book The 100 Thing Challenge I appreciated that the author counted his library as one thing. I don't have plans to get down to only 100 things, but my minimizing goal will be to keep our book collection to those books that can fit on one of our book shelves.

In addition to the 91 books that were disposed of, I let go of 4 purses, 3 pair of shoes, and 1 sweater. It should be mentioned that 2 additional pair of shoes went in the garbage. One was a very tired pair of slippers I haven't worn for over 2 years and the other pair of shoes were a well loved pair of blue shoes. Zoey helped make the decision to dispose of that old pair.

Week 13 Part II

Cranberry Scones ☆☆☆☆☆ [pg. 33 FBB]
(Sorry I can't link the copyrighted recipe. You will need to borrow the cookbook from the library. :-P)

A friend of mine makes the best scones and she had posted on facebook that she needed some help with a church project and all helpers would be rewarded with scones. Project day was, of course, scheduled for one of my work days so I would miss out on her scones but I decided I would try making my own.

This recipe is not part of the family cookbook, but is in my new cookbook. (The America's Test Kitchen Family Baking Book) I believe the key to scones is to not overmix; handle the dough as little as possible. These scones are the best I have made and I am sure the butter and heavy cream are the main reason they are so tasty. Scones are best with clotted cream and jam but I had to settle for just jam. These scones disappeared in just two days, a sign that the recipe deserves five stars.

Week 13 Part I

Bittersweet Chocolate Cookies ☆☆☆☆ [pg 97 HFC]
These cookies went together very similar to Checkerboard Cookies, ☆☆☆☆☆ [pg 112 HFC] which are a huge favorite at our house, and the cookies ended up being judged with those cookies in mind.

The dough went together very easily and the rolling into a log went as expected. The dough was a bit sticky, but the addition of a small amount of flour on hands and the waxed paper prevented the dough from sticking too much. You need the dough to be a bit sticky so the pecans will stay put on the roll. This ended up being my biggest pet peeve. Pecans are expensive and the finely chopped nuts would stay on the roll. Through the whole remaining process, my cookies were losing their nuts.

As I frosted the cookies, I was envisioning the mess these cookies could make if carried into another room while we are eating them, which often happens at our house. Granted, we have two furry little vacuum cleaners who are more than happy to sniff out the offending crumbs dropped to the floor, but not all homes are as lucky.

The frosting gives the cookies a better balance of bittersweet and semi-sweet, but dear hubby claims he would like them to be a bit more sweet. I admit to trying these cookies without the frosting and immediately noted I liked the chocolate part of the checkerboard cookie much better. If I desired a chocolatey, buttery cookie I would use checkerboard cookie dough and just make it all chocolate flavor.

Our cookie crumb scavengers.

Overall, these are a very pretty cookie and would be attractive on a cookie plate. They are very good, and few will find fault with them. They only earned four stars because they can't beat a checkerboard cookie and I don't like my expensive pecans dropping to the floor as treats for our Penny and Zoey Lyn.

Week 12 Part IV

Banana Split Cake ☆☆☆☆☆ [pg 99 HFC]
As mentioned before in my blog, our family is not big on cake so I had skipped over this recipe several times in past years because it said cake in the title. Let me assure you that this is not cake. I think it should be titled Banana Split Dessert, but let's get on with the evaluation.

The dessert starts with a graham crocker crust, which is always a good start. The second layer is very simple and ends up being quite like pudding. Its ingredients are powdered sugar, butter, and egg blended together for 15 minutes. Wow, that seemed like a long time, but I assure you it is worth it.

Next layers are simply bananas and drained crushed pineapple. Now, regarding my whipped cream layer, I did not have a large tub of Cool Whip (which I assume is 12 ounces). My 8 ounce container had about 2/3 of the whip cream as the other part was used elsewhere. This did not bother me because I am not a huge fan of Cool Whip. Then there was the matter of the chocolate syrup. This is an item we always have on hand, but someone in our house has apparently been having ice cream lately and I found an empty chocolate syrup container in my fridge. GRRR.

Dessert shown with just caramel sauce. Chocolate sauce was
added the next day for our 8 person tasting test.

Right next to it though, was a brand new container of caramel sauce. Well, I reasoned, real banana splits have chocolate, caramel, and strawberry topping, so I opted to use the caramel. At first taste, I was very pleasantly surprised. This is not one of our usual types of dessert, but it was quite yummy.

The next day, I got chocolate sauce to add to the dessert, and later in the day we went to a friends to share the dessert. After the 8 person tasting panel was finished, it was decided this was a definite four star recipe and several indicated it to be a five star dessert. Our youngest taster, at the age of five, was allowed to have two helpings and she loved eating the layers off to get to the "cookie" at the bottom. Only one of our testers rated the dessert a three. They couldn't identify exactly what it was they didn't like but that was fine. There were plenty of volunteers willing to finish up his piece.

Today, I finished off the dessert and was lamenting that this recipe made such a large dessert, one that could easily be shared at a potluck, but it was probably too much for Tom and I to have around. As I savored the last few morsels, I realized each of the dessert ingredients could be easily cut in half and all that left over crushed pineapple can go on our next pizza. (A weekly meal at our house.) This will be great to have again this summer, a nice refrigerated dessert, made in an 8 x 8 for the two of us to share. Yum!

Week 12 Part III

Danish Braid with Cream Cheese and Cherry Filling* ☆☆☆ ☆ ☆ [pgs. 444-447 FBB]
(Sorry I can't link the copyrighted recipe. You will need to borrow the cookbook from the library. :-P)

Recently, I borrowed a cookbook from the library called The America's Test Kitchen Family Baking Book [FBB] and I loved it so much I bought a copy. The first recipe I attempted was a Danish Braid. I love sweet breakfast stuff and the book made this look pretty straight forward.

Surprisingly, my finished product looks very similar to the picture in the book. I had trouble getting my cherry filling to thicken and so the finished product is quite messy despite my efforts to try to clean it up before I put it in the oven. I should have stuck with just the cream cheese part of the filling. My pastry didn't puff during the rest period and it is possible the house was too cold. As the pastry baked, there was sort of a puddle of butter around the pastry, which was not very appetizing, and it created quite a mess in my oven. (Oh well, it was time to  clean the oven anyway.)

I appears, pastry chef I am not. At least not the sort of pastry with a flaky, buttery crust. I am thinking this is one pastry better left to professionals, especially since it should be a rare treat anyway. However, after fussing with the pastry to get it off the parchment paper and giving the finished product a taste test, I have changed my mind. Certainly, this is not something I will make on a regular basis, but I believe I will give it another try later this year.

Solutions to a few problems include baking the pastry on a cookie sheet with sides to prevent the problem in the bottom of my oven. Measuring the ingredients for the cherry filling more closely to insure the juice sets up correctly. Creating a warmer spot in the kitchen for the pastry to rise and/or allowing a bit more time for the rising.

Regarding taste, this pastry was very good. It is buttery (love!) and I particularly enjoy the combination of sweet cream cheese and tart cherries. My only disappointment is that the crust wasn't more flaky. Both Tom and I would give it five stars, but then how could you not considering all the butter. Yum! Julia Child would agree, everything is better with butter; lots and lots of butter.

Are Apologies Heard in Heaven?

Spring break gives me a chance to slow down, and slowing down allows me to think, and thinking these days is not recommended for me. I am at "that" age, the change is upon me, as my mother might say.  She would rarely use the word menopause, but I am approaching that stage of my life; the signs have been more and more evident. As my schedule has allowed for thinking this week, I realize that my brain doesn't say much that is nice. It is time to do something about that, but that is not the reason for this post.


My symptoms have caused me to wonder how my mother handled her menopausal period of life? What were her symptoms? How long did it last? As I thought about my mom, I realized how little attention I paid to my mom and her emotional well-being when I was at home. She had five kids; she had cancer at 40, again in her fifties, and again at 70 when the cancer finally killed her. Reflecting on all this allow me to see how selfish I was back then. I don't ever remember wondering how my mom felt about anything. It wasn't until my eldest was headed to college that I wondered how my mom handled two girls leaving for college on the same day. Mom died four years before my first went to college—I knew how I felt letting one go away, it was too late to ask her how she had felt on that day. And now, ten years later, it is too late to ask her about "the change" too.

More importantly, it is too late for me to apologize for being so self-centered and oblivious to her emotional needs for so long. All week I have prayed for understanding. Understanding of what is happening to me and understanding from those around me. I have prayed for clarity of thought and it has brought me to the place where I wonder if she can hear my apology in heaven. The best apology I know is to rise up and call her blessed. And so, with the following quote from Scripture, I apologize mom, and pray you will be with me through this stressful time of my life.

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

Her children arise and call her blessed; 

   her husband also, and he praises her: 

“Many women do noble things, 

   but you surpass them all.” 

(Proverbs 31:27-29 NIV)

And my mom surpassed them all.

Week 12 Part II

Special K Bars ☆☆☆ ☆ ☆ [pg 150 HFC]
So, today I was left craving a chocolatey treat. (see previous post) I still felt the need to satisfy a comfort chocolate craving, and I was delighted to find Special K cereal in the house. Special K Bars, which are in the family cookbook, have made them many, many times before, however I indulged my craving and will review them for you readers, few that you are.

Special K Bars are a five ingredient dessert. I usually have all the ingredients on hand just in case I need to throw together a dessert for unexpected guests, or because I forgot it was my week to bring treats to Bible study. Not only is the ingredient list short, but the total time for assembly is about 10 minutes. It will take a bit longer for the frosting/topping to harden, but then that never stopped me from eating them warm.

Special K Bars could be compared to marshmallow treats, and in fact I have known people who make a peanut butter and marshmallow treat very similar to these bars. I figure, when you have a great thing (notice I didn't say good thing...a Great Thing) why mess with experimenting with something else so similar. I've never varied from the original marshmallow treat recipe, which has more butter than the one on the box now-a-days, and I shall never vary from the Special K Bar recipe. These bars were just what I needed today. Later in the week I will try a new Hayes Cookbook recipe. These bars won't last long at our house.

Week 12 Part I

Upon final consumption of the final Fudge Meltaway, I was seeking another chocolaty dessert, but I didn't want to go to the store. The search was on for a dessert I could make with ingredients on hand. And this was just to satisfy a craving, not to complete a portion of my baking quest. I came across a recipe called "Girls Just Want to Have Fudge"; a low calorie fudge recipe in a random cookbook, and I decided to try it.

Licking the bowl after putting together a recipe is half the fun, right? When the leftover fudge bits had sufficiently cooled, I set to the work of cleaning up the pan, with my tongue. I was not impressed with the morsels in the pan. They seemed dry, not creamy as fudge should be. I attributed this to them being small bits and waited to give the fudge a true test when fully cooled.

Today the fudge got its true test. Upon removing the fudge from the pan, I could see that it was dry, as I presumed it would be. The fudge has peanut butter as an ingredient, and I admit I am not a fan of peanut butter fudge, even with all its fat, so the fudge had two strikes against it before the tasting began.

Sadly, this fudge had no creaminess and not enough chocolate flavor, and I consider these two things most important in a fudge. If I am going to consume calories, let them be good ones, tasty ones. This fudge falls far short. There is not much more to say except, the whole lot, short one small bite, went into the trash.

Week 11 Part I

Georgia Street Slices ☆☆☆ [pg 125 HFC]
No bake recipes are always interesting and certainly welcome in the summer months. This recipe seemed familiar as I was making it, but I knew I had never made this particular one before. When it was finished, it resemble Mom's Fudge Melt-aways ☆☆☆ ☆ ☆ [pg 127 HFC] that I remember from my youth. It was difficult to wait for the dessert to freeze so that I could try it.

Upon tasting, I realized the reason this recipe seemed so familiar—it looks and tastes much like the
Fudge Melt-aways mentioned above. The similarities prompted me to do a side by side recipe comparison. They are very nearly the same. The Fudge Melt-away recipe has half the butter in the middle layer, and no butter in the topping. Also, the topping of the Fudge Melt-aways is unsweetened chocolate rather than semi-sweet chocolate, and this, along with the less butter in the middle layer, lowers the overall fat content of the dessert.

On another note, it seems wasteful to me to purchase a package of pudding and use only 2 Tablespoons. This ingredient is not used in the Fudge Melt-aways. Their middle layer is more like frosting while the Georgia Street Slices middle layer is more like custard or pudding.

Regarding storage, the recipe says these should stay in the freezer. I remember Mom's Fudge Melt-aways being in the refrigerator, so that is where I have stored this dessert. It doesn't seem to affect the taste or texture and so I will note this in my cookbook.

It has been along time since I have made the Fudge Melt-aways and I plan to make some later this week so that I can do a side by side taste comparison. I shall reserve final judgement until that time, but for now I give this recipe three stars; tasty but I doubt I will make it again without some adjustment to the amount of butter used.

Week 10 Part I

Bits of This and That Cookies ☆☆☆☆
It was only a matter of time until the monthly purging activity hit the kitchen pantry. I could no longer tolerate the accumulation of ziplock bags containing leftover bits of chocolate chips and such. This week I opted to clean up these bits of ingredients and see what could be created.

The cookie base for Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookies seemed a good place to start. My brother's chocolate chocolate chip cookie recipe twirled around in my head and I decided to melt 3/4 cup dark chocolate chips, and I added this to the dough before all the little bits. My collection included about 1/4 cup heath bar bits, 1/4-1/3 cup milk chocolate chips, 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips, and 1 cup vanilla chips. A total of 2 cups of "chips" were added to my chocolate cookie base.

As I look back, I can see that I should have added a bit more flour to prevent the spreading that occurred as the cookies baked. What was produced was a thin cookie, rich in chocolate flavor and perfect for dunking in a cold glass of milk. Mmmm, delish. Today I found that 10 seconds in the microwave warms the cookie enough to be enjoyed without the milk.

These cookies aren't in our family cookbook, and I couldn't really reproduce them without creating bags of leftover bits again. Suffice to say, the cookies will be enjoyed and my pantry is a bit cleaner.

Week 9 Part II

Grandma's Amish Cookies ☆☆☆☆ [pg 123 HFC]
What makes a cookie an Amish cookie? Maybe that they are plain and simple. That would certainly be true of these cookies. Plain and simple ingredients blend together to create a plain and simple cookie—a sugar cookie, and a tasty one at that.

Plain and simple means most people would have all these ingredients in a simply stocked kitchen. But plain and simple means there is no flair, no complex blends of textures and tastes, and no "oooo yummy". While I will grant that these are a very good sugar cookie, in no need of frosting, they are plain and if you have read this blog at all you know that the missing ingredient for me would be *drum roll* Chocolate! So I would likely make these a black and white cookie if I make them again. You know, dunk 1/2 in some sort of chocolate glaze. They rate a solid four stars for a great buttery taste and flaky texture, but they are not on the list of must make again soon.

Week 9 Part I

Jeff's Almond Cream Puff Strips ☆☆☆☆☆ [pg 121 HFC]
This recipe was in the last edition of the cookbook and I gave my brother a lot of credit for making something so fancy. I had never attempted them because it sounded complicated. These little bites of heaven are quite easy. That said, I must admit my first attempt was less than stellar. Although my first attempts don't look very pretty, they tasted just fine and the second attempts were even better.

The second time I made the puffs, I made them a bit smaller than noted in the recipe. The thinking was that a serving size would be smaller, therefore fewer calories. That never works. If it is good, you just eat more of them. Maybe the walk to the kitchen for the second or third puff somehow uses a few calories. One can hope.

In addition to the smaller size, I changed the filling the second time. On the first try I made the pudding as directed on the box, missing the instruction about 1 1/4 cup milk until after the filling was completed. The second time I used cheesecake flavor pudding and got the milk quantity correct. I also used vanilla flavoring rather than almond extract. Tom didn't have a preference about the filling, although I prefer the cheesecake flavor. I also opted to use parchment paper the second time instead of greasing and flouring the cookie sheet. Much easier clean up and who doesn't love that?

I had a bit of trouble with the glaze the first time. I thought using the microwave was my error, so I did it the old fashioned way, on the stove top, the second time. I still had a stiff glaze, so I added a bit of hot water to thin the glaze and it worked great. If you choose to do this, make sure to add the hot water just one tsp at a time. My trouble might have stemmed from the fact I used dark chocolate chips but it was what I had and the thinning with hot water worked fine.

You can see in the picture I didn't have quite enough dough for the last cream puff strip and it became a cream puff ball. This is inspiring, as I can see making a bunch of cream puff balls for a pinochle party or other event, this dessert is that easy. They are surprising light in taste, unlike store bought cream puffs which taste very rich and heavy.

My biggest challenge was getting the filling into my Easy Accent Decorator. Once that was accomplished, filling the puffs was a breeze. My mind races with summer options. I am certainly going to try a filling with bits of fresh strawberry. According to my calculations, the calories in one of these (4-6 inch length) is 266 calories, which means the smaller 3 inch ones I made were about 133 calories each. (That is using low fat cool whip and sugar free pudding.) One could estimate that the cream puff balls will have about 50 calories each.

I highly recommend this recipe to all my newly wedded nieces (or soon to be wedded) because you can really impress your friends and the recipe is sooo easy. Watch my additional comments as I try variations of filling for this dessert.

Week 8 Part III

Artisan Bread as Pizza Dough

Since I purchased my domed bread baker, I have been messing around with No Knead Bread for a month or so. I wondered if this variation of a sourdough would work well as pizza crust.

This is a fairly wet dough, so it is a bit tricky to roll out. I started by retrieving a grapefruit size ball of dough from my dough stash. (see recipe note) The dough was carefully shaped into a ball, using much flour on my hands and some on the dough ball. I gave the dough ball 5-10 minutes to rest, meanwhile I grated cheese and prepared my other pizza toppings.

I covered my baking stone with cornmeal, lightly floured the top of the dough ball, and dusted my rolling pin as well. Other than needing to re-dust the rolling pin a few times, this seemed to work well. We generally like thinner crust and this did the trick. The crust was baked in a 450° oven for 10-12 minutes. You want to remove it before it begins to brown.

Prepare the pizza was you desire and return it to the oven for another 8-10 minutes. We like the edges to be  a bit brown, so it was closer to 10 minutes. This recipe created a good homemade crust, although it is not perfect and I will continue to experiment.

Week 8 Part II

Double Chocolate Crumble Bars ☆☆☆☆ [pg 105 HFC]

As I spread the topping on these bars, I remembered making them long ago. (Cheater) I suppose the fact that I made these before, although long ago, means they must have some good qualities. The bars go together very easily and can be made with ingredients most people would have on hand. I made 1/2 the recipe and baked them in a 7 x 11 pan.

Certainly these bars do need to be chilled as the topping can become quite messy when warm. These bars may have rated higher during the summer months, but I had to take into account that I made them once before, but long ago. They have good taste but not good enough to rate five stars. There is nothing about them that would need to be changed to make them better so they do not rate three stars. They sort of earn four stars by default. Not good enough to make frequently, not in need of change, just okay. Four stars it is although it is unlikely they will be made again soon at our house.

Week 8 Part I

Cranberry White Chocolate Chunk Oatmeal Cookies  ☆☆☆☆

These cookies are not in our family cookbook, but I saw them in two different magazines this winter and decided I needed to try them. I have previously noted that most of the members of our family are not huge cake fans, so a cookie that is more cake like already has one strike against it. I couldn't resist the first warm cookie and my first reaction was not good. I couldn't taste the white chocolate. Sooo disappointing. I thought maybe that cookie didn't have enough chips, so I tried another one. Still disappointing.

After the cookies had had time to cool to room temperature, I tried them again. (Yeah it took three cookies to make a recommendation.) These are much better at room temperature. Strike too. I love warm cookies. Especially cookies with chocolate, all warm and gooey. These are the first cookies I have made in 2011 that are better cooled than warm. They are tasty, particularly if there is a  balanced mix of cranberry and white chocolate, however they are not cookies to which we can give five stars, so they earn four stars. They have disappeared fast (yeah, yeah, three cookies in 1/2 hour, I remember!) and they were tasty but not good enough to earn top honors which is when my husband says, "You have to make these again!"

March Disposals

Disposal fever took hold this Saturday and I purged things from several areas in the house. March disposals is done a week early. At this pace I may hit 365 items removed by summer, and that would be just fine. We are truly trying to downsize.

1. Chicken stuffed animal
2. Two dog stuffed animals
3. Bear beanie baby
4. Two wedding beanie babies —all those stuffed animal things went to school as giveaways and that feels just as good as downsizing.
5. 11 necklaces
6. 2 bracelets
7. 1 watch
8. 4 pins
9. 26 pair of earrings —I had way too many pairs of earrings and only a few that I wear frequently.
10. 2 rings—after all that jewelry disposal, I got rid of . . . 
11. 2 jewelry boxes
12. 3 printers—you read the right, three printers
13. Olympus 1.3 megapixel digital camera
14. Camera bag
15. SD picture card for Olympus
16. Logitech wireless mouse and regular mouse
17. Candle votive holder
18. 4 books
19. 3 rubber duckies
20. 2 games for PC
21. Mastercook software program
22. 22 scrapbook idea books
23. Clothes—41 pieces of clothes, although 11 of the 41 were pairs of socks.

Wow, a total of 141 things for the month of March. That brings the grand total so far to 221. We might reach 365 by next month if spring cleaning and disposal fever hit the garage!

Week 7 Part I

Doreen's Lemon Poppy Seed Cake  ☆☆☆☆ [pg 106 HFC]
Lemon and poppy seed, who can resist, right? This recipe can qualify as a 5 ingredients or less recipe and that is always a good thing, however one would need to keep lemon cake mix and lemon pudding mix on hand. I love how simple this recipe is and the dump and mix instructions are great. I literally dumped all the ingredients into my bowl and mixed with the blender until well blended.

My sister makes this in two small loaf pans, but I opted for the bundt cake pan this time. When the cake was done, I used the toothpick method to check for doneness. It was set on a cooling rack and allowed to cool for 20 minutes. After the cooling time, I slid a knife down the outer and inner edges to make sure the cake would release from the pan. I put the cake onto my fancy cake plate and allowed it to fully cool.

I felt that the lovely cake looked naked without some sort of frosting or topping, so I whipped together white frosting and put a tablespoon or so of lemon juice into the frosting. I made it quite thin so it would slide down the sides of the cake. It was at this time that I wished I had drizzled the frosting when the cake was warm, but my thin frosting did a pretty good job of running down the side without ending up all in a puddle at the bottom of the cake.

Taste test proved my original findings—lemon and poppy seed are a great combination. The cake is moist enough to serve without frosting, but I liked the look of the cake with a topping. So far I am the only one to taste this treat so I will post the rating in a day or two.

Week 6 Part I

Caramel Apple Oat Squares ☆☆☆☆ [pg 92 HFC]
Not having chocolate always causes a recipe to start at a bit of a disadvantage, at least for my taste buds. This dessert goes together quite easily and makes plenty to share at a potluck dinner, assuming you have a small family such as ours. There was so much, I took the Oat Squares to work to get some help cleaning up the dessert and to gather a few more ratings.

My boss (Deb) was the only one to actually write me a note giving her rating and I would agree with her whole-heartedly. We decided there was a bit too much caramel goo, and although our bookkeeper (Amy) agreed, she stated she would still have a go at eating the whole pan, goo and all. We all loved the crust. It is great texture combination with the apples and caramel. This recipe was given a four star rating losing one star because of the gooyness. I plan to try this recipe again and use the caramel mixture from Mom's caramel bars, or I may possibly just try making half the caramel mixture to see how that tastes. Watch for future posting on a revamp of this recipe.

Week 5 Part III

Fruit Magic ☆☆☆☆ [pg 94 HFC]
This dessert was consumed before I remembered to take a picture. I also have to admit to cheating a bit as I have made this before but not in a long, long time. I whipped this dessert together so we could give it the correct number of stars.

Jiffy cake mixes are getting harder and harder to find in our part of the country, so an 18 oz. white cake mix was purchased and split for the recipe. With only four ingredients, this is a very simple recipe and would be easy to throw together at the last minute for guests or an unexpected potluck event. (That assumes you keep cake mix and fruit filling on hand.)

This dessert gets mixed reviews at our house. Tom gives it five stars and claims, "I could have eaten that whole thing myself," while I miss the oatmeal, brown sugar type topping found on a fruit crisp dessert. I was going to give it three stars because I would make crisp over this any day. So the final star count will be a four.

February disposals

February has arrived and it is time to purge more things. Although it appears I only got rid of 22 things, there are actually about 55 items because of the multiple things I am removing from the house. Stuff is piling up in the garage. Wonder if I can get hubby to make a run to a donation site today?

1. Tiara cake pan—can't remember the last time I used it
2. Two HUGE drinking glasses
3. Red wicker basket
4. One box old Christmas ornaments
5. A can of thumbtacks
6. Magic markers—we don't use these at home so they are headed to school
7. Five hard cover cookbooks—one of my weaknesses. I read them like a novel.
8. Five soft cover cookbooks—ditto above
9. Two Bible study books that were never used.
10. Two 2011 calendars I picked up because they were free. Another bad habit I need to break.
11. Old photo album—removed the photos and threw the album away
12. Six rubber stamps
13. Seven coffee cups
14. Plastic salad carrier—haven't used it in quite some time
15. Bamboo steamer
16. Glass storage container—probably an antique but I haven't used it since it was given to me last fall.
17. Steam rack for the wok, never used
18. Water bottle—I hope to get rid of more of these soon, but must do this with spouse.
19. Old rolling pin
20. Three cookie tins—got rid of three and still have three because I do use them
21. Oil sweep thing—this was from Pampered Chef and I never really figured out how to use it and it is very hard to clean.
22. Tongs—Got rid of one of three pair.

Week 5 Part II

Mexican Lasagna ☆☆☆☆☆ [pg 46 HFC]
While I had not intended to include main dish recipes in my Reflections, I had to include this one because we all thought it was so good. I tend to purchase hamburger in 5-10 pound quantities, fry it up, and freeze it in 1# packages. Doing that one small step ahead of time made this dish go together very quickly and easily. After sauteing a bit of onion, all the ingredients got dumped together in the fry pan, mixed and then the lasagna layering began. I also saved time by purchasing a package of grated cheese.

As I layered the ingredients, it seemed there should be more of the meat mixture and maybe even a bit more cheese. (Wisconsinites always think there should be more cheese!) I wanted to give this recipe a fair chance as written before doctoring it up, so I proceeded following the directions, or so I thought.

When the dish went into the oven, I read over the recipe again and wondered if the sour cream was to have been mixed in with the other filling ingredients. Because of the order in which the ingredients were listed, I missed putting it in but decided to just try it as the garnish.

The Mexican lasagna smelled wonderful as it baked and we were not disappointed. My original feelings of not enough hamburger mixture were quickly dispelled, and everyone seemed just fine with the sour cream as a garnish for this flavorful dish. The dish earned five stars and will definitely be made again in the exact same way.

Week 5 Part I

Double Chocolate Drops ☆☆☆☆☆ [pg 104 HFC]
While stirring together these easy Double Chocolate Drop Cookies, I realized some of the measurements didn't seem right. Certainly they didn't need 3/4 Tablespoon salt or 1 Tablespoon of vanilla, so I went back to an old edition of the family cookbook to check the recipe. These measurements should be 3/4 teaspoon salt and 1 teaspoon vanilla and I had a note next to this recipe in my old book—Very Good. So it seems I have made this recipe before, which means I sort of cheated this week.

The dough is very sticky and I recommend using a cookie scoop to shape these cookies. I made them with a 3/4 inch scoop so the cookies were a nice small size. They are very good and I give them a five. They are more cake like than regular chocolate chip cookies and even though they are double chocolate they are not too much chocolate. I have made these with mini chocolate chips before and they are good with either size chip.

Baking Some Love

The yeasty smell of bread baking takes me back to our kitchen on the farm, mom standing over the huge bread making bowl punching down the dough for six loaves of white bread. This was a weekly ritual at our home. You read right. Weekly, she made six loaves of bread. Every Monday laundry and bread making. Occasionally, on a Wednesday, she made buns. My mom was so particular about how her baked goods looked, that she was asked to makes dozens and dozens of rolls for our church dinners each year. At times, when making rolls for the church dinner, a batch would get too brown or be ill-shaped and as we sat down to supper she would explain that these were not good enough for the church. We happily ate the culls, because we rarely saw anything wrong with them.

Many years ago, when my husband first came to the farm to meet my parents, I warned him that my mom was a great cook. Baking was my mom’s way of showing love, or at least one way of showing her love. He gained 10 pounds in 7 days. Keep in mind it was during the winter, much too cold to do any exercising, and that we were the guests. He wasn’t allowed to do anything, but “You must eat. Another slice of bread? Certainly you need another cookie?”

My family ate five times a day. Breakfast came at 8:00 am, after milking was complete. The midday meal, which was our largest meal of the day, was always served at noon and properly known as dinner. Meal three, served about 3:00 pm, was mid-afternoon snack. During the summer, these snacks were eaten on a tractor in the field, and during the school year snacks were consumed while watching some mindless television after a long day at school.

Supper, the proper name for an evening meal, was served at 5:30. At 6:00 everyone headed to the barn to assist with evening chores, and naturally when we returned to the house at 8:00 pm we were hungry again. “Meal” number five was the bedtime snack.

Five “meals” a day x 365 days a year = 1825 meals every year and for seven people. That is a lot of baking and cooking. Is it any wonder baking was equated with love in my mom’s mind? She spent so much time baking and cooking. Even now as I look at those numbers I am flabbergasted. I don’t ever remember my mom complaining about doing all this cooking and baking and we rarely ate out.  Her only complaints were about the quality of the food she was providing.

When mom passed away we joked a bit about mom’s need for perfection in her food. There were so many meals that we listened to her litany of complaints about the meal. “The gravy is too salty, the potatoes are a bit lumpy, the meat is not as tender as I hoped, the buns got a bit dark” and on it went. As kids we just ignored it, as adults we tried to break her of the habit, and after she was gone we joked because it had become a memory of our mom that we would carry with us.

I have to admit, I don’t just carry this with me, I do this. I must tell myself to stop talking or I will sit down to a Thanksgiving dinner mumbling about how my gravy is too thin and the potatoes got cold. The scariest thing to me is that my daughter is starting to do the same thing and she didn’t spend that much time with my mom. She got it all from me. She isn’t channeling grandma, she is mimicking me. It seems a horrible thing to pass on to a daughter—a terrible desire for perfection. Or is it?

When I carefully consider my mom’s desire for perfection in her cooking and baking, I wonder if it wasn’t an expression of her desire to be a perfect mom, a desire for perfect love. I think all of us have an area of our life where we desire perfection. God created us that way. We long for the perfection that was the Garden of Eden. We long for the perfection that only God is. We long for perfect love, and it is not found in a perfectly shaped, perfectly browned bun—it is only found with God. Seek perfection, seek HIM!