Defining a New Normal

There are two kinds of new normal—the good and the bad. Big surprise, right?

When defining new normal is good, we are on our way to college, as so many will be in just a few months. Good new normal might be our choice and we are finding our place in a new job; we are making new friends and discovering new talents. Our new normal might be adjusting to our new home or better yet, our first home.

But then there is the new normal that is not welcome. The loss of a family member causes us to define a new normal. In my case, my siblings and I are now the oldest generation of our family. This is not a new normal I wanted, however this new normal was expected and I had months to expect this new normal. Dad was going to be 83 this year; the new normal was impending.

For many families, particularly two of them, today begins a new normal they never expected. A child is shot and another child shot himself. While we attempt to face today normally, these families are finding a new normal. How in the world do they do that? How do any of us define the new normal when it isn't planned or expected? Maybe the real question is should we define the new normal? Maybe that is the point; we are not supposed to define the new normal—God defines the normal.

When horrible things happen, like yesterday's shooting at Reynolds High School, people wonder where God is at a time like this. God is everywhere. God is with the teacher who kept you safe; He is with all the responders who took charge of the situation; He is with the counselors who will help you sort out your feelings; He is at the funeral providing peace that surpasses understanding.

When new normal forces us to get up and face another day, God gives us the strength to do that. God defines the new normal moment by moment, then day by day, week by week, month by month, and soon the new normal isn't new anymore. It's just our normal.

In my mind, the worst thing about new normal is when it becomes the normal and we stop asking, "Where is God?" When we are right in the midst of defining the new normal we turn to God and plead for help, but when normal arrives, we give up on God. We figure we have it handled and we stop seeking God. This is the greatest tragedy. When we see God as some special wizard to shows up when we say the right words, we miss the true God. He is a God who loves us all the time, the God who is with us all the time, the God who hears us all the time.

Find the God who defines your new normal; find the God of all the time. If you need help finding Him I would be happy to help. You can
contact me through the comments or on facebook.

The Evilness of Planning

"If something weakens you, even if you are good at it, it is a weakness. A strength is an activity that makes you feel strong. What are the activities that invigorate you?" (10/8/10 notes Women of Faith conference)

This causes me to ponder, "What makes me strong? What invigorates me?" I can easily list things that I do well, but which of those things invigorates me? Planning is what first comes to mind. I plan meals for the week, I plan lessons for school, I plan each day for a vacation, I plan for family gatherings. As I write that, I realize that the reason this planning did not always invigorate me was because when I planned, I expected everything to go as planned and I became stressed if it did not follow the plan. This was my error.

Planning, in and of itself, is not bad. It is the expectation that my plan is the only correct way for things to proceed. See, then it becomes a control issue, and that is where my error lies. Not in the planning but in the control.

A year ago I left a job where I was employed for 17 years. I had to leave because I thought I was in total control after 17 years. I had the perfect plan after all that time. God let me see that I was way off base. I had become so confident in myself, my skills, and my plan that I wasn't relying on Him at all. It was time to move on. It was time for me to let God take control of the plan.

In my new job, I still create a plan for the week or the month, but I have been continually reminded that God is in control of how things will actually play out. As I have given this over to him, I have found not only freedom but strength. I plan, God directs the plan, and when I allow Him to do that, every day is a good day. I am rejuvenated by my work rather than stressed by it. When I examine the days where I come home stressed, I can see that I pushed God aside and I took back control of the plan. When I actually visualize that picture of pushing God aside, I don't want to stand near myself. Lightning bolts they be a comin'!

A year ago I could not find praise or worship in a day filled with interruptions to my plan. Today, I am closer to "going with the flow". It requires a full trust in God. It requires me giving my plan to God each and every day. When I do that, the evilness of planning is gone and I am invigorated by planning and seeing what God will do with the plan.

How about you? What invigorates you?